THE CHARTER | Paws of Mayhem

ARTICLE I: THE HIGH TABLE DECREE

The word of the High Table is absolute. VP Magenta maintains first rights to all resources, including but not limited to: premium kibble, prime couch real estate, and the center of the big bed.

Sub-section A: President Tela oversees all distribution of "The Squeak." No toy is considered communal unless Tela has officially abandoned it for a nap.

ARTICLE II: PERIMETER DEFENSE

The Enforcer Squad (Lucy, Aly, and George) shall maintain 24/7 acoustic surveillance. Any entity approaching the Clubhouse fence line without a pre-approved tail-wag clearance is to be met with maximum volume.

The "Mailman Protocol": All delivery personnel are Hostile Entities until the package is grounded. Barking must be sustained until the vehicle clears the block.

ARTICLE III: LAWS OF THE OPEN SIDEWALK

Road Captains Toby and Murphy shall dictate the pace of all patrols. The "Stop and Sniff" is a mandatory tactical pause. No member shall be rushed during a high-interest scent investigation.

The "Squirrel Clause": Any sighting of a bushy-tailed insurgent grants immediate permission to break formation for high-speed pursuit.

ARTICLE IV: THE TREAT ECONOMY

All treats are considered 100% club property until consumed. Prospects (Duke) must demonstrate "Good Boy" behavior for a minimum of 5 seconds before a treat disbursement is authorized.

NATIONAL CHAPTER

SANCTIONED BY MOTHER CHARTER

REGISTRY ID: 816-POM-NAT-001

-- SIGNED IN PAW BY THE HIGH TABLE --

PROSPECT ACKNOWLEDGED

YOUR LOYALTY HAS BEEN RECORDED.